Overheated

 So much to say at the moment but I don't know how.



Its like there's millions of voices inside your mind telling you this and that and then your mind is filled up with little thoughts that would literally kill you and then suddenly it just went boom & its all gone and then you get really infuriated by it and then those little voices came back and just fuck up your brain. -and then you don't really know what to do.
I hate that feeling I really hate it its like when you know its time to voice up for yourself voice up for your thoughts and not be the kind of human other people thought you are. When you know its time to finally be yourself and you have all those words ready in your mind but you just need to do some re-arranging and then when you finally got the words into right sentences and everything, then you stop and "decided" to not voice up your thoughts anymore because the little thoughts roaming around in your mind decided to mutate and tells you what will happen after you voice them out like
1. people don't get what you're trying to say and then they make up their own stories and start to think of you the way that they think you are and then you have to play along with what they made up because then if you don't they'd start to think why you're like that and not like that and start to spread nasty stuff about you or
2. people will think of you as some other kind of people who'd not do something like that and they just don't understand that its their thoughts that'd been drowning my poor little soul in a life which I do not think I am being myself its like you're a puppet of their story or
3.people will start to be caring and give out advices and I think they're sometimes really useless because what they said is what I'd thought about a billion times or
4. lets say you are trying to lose weight and you really wanted to fit into nice clothes and short shorts and then when you tell the people that you want to wear this really short shorts for example and then they'd start shooting back at you saying that "are you sure you can fit into those cause you're really fat". Yes I admit that I'm really fat but I don't need you to fucking remind me of that.
5. its like they've been controlling you so much that you've became a person you are not and thats ok with them but its never ok for me. Yeah like whatever happened to writing my own thoughts? I don't need you to tell me what to do I don't need you to tell me what I should and shouldn't write.

People need to keep things to themselves.

And you don't voice up your thoughts because you're thinking too much thinking what others would feel but ah, fuck that I am not that kind of girl anymore. Sure I've been living in a lonely nutshell but at least I'm better than a lot of people.

Ah what a wordy post I bet if anyone really reads it, they'd start shooting stuffs at me again its like I have no right to say what I want to say without hurting any party in my personal writing-about-your-thoughts place its really ridiculous why people have to try to bring others down. Dude its my fucking blog you can fucking leave and not fucking leave nasty comments if you don't fucking like me or what I write so its not the problem with me its the problem with you!

And I don't really give a / two flying fuck(s) if my english is horrible I can live with it so what's bothering you so much?!?!?!!