Complicated feelings

I keep saying that I'm a sad sad individual cuz I am constantly reminding myself that I am a sad individual I have no much friends. Ok I'm not saying that having many friends makes you a happy person..I think the opposite way. I'm just trying to say that I have no life.

No life.

No life at all. So what do you want from me?

Stay away.

I can't seem to find anything funny now. I can't seem to be cheery now.

What is wrong? I hate this feeling. I need someone. Someone that shuts up.

One of the lyrics that I can relate to myself right now :

Lately I’ve been hard to reach

I’ve been too long on my own

Everybody has a private world

Where they can be alone

Are you calling me?

Are you trying to get through?

Are you reaching out for me?

Like I’m reaching out for you.

I’m just so fucking depressed

I just can’t seem to get out of this slump

If I could just get over this hump

But I need something to pull me out this dump

I took my bruises, took my lumps

Fell down and I got right back up

But I need that spark to get psyched back up

In order for me to pick the mic back up

I don’t know how or why or when

I ended up being in the position I’m in

I’m starting to feel distant again

So I decided just to pick this pen

Up and try to make an attempt to vent

But I just can’t admit or come to grips

With the fact that I may be

Done with rap, I need a new outlet

And I know some shit so hard to swallow

But I just can’t sit back and wallow

In my own sorrow, but I know one fact

I’ll be one tough act to follow

One tough act to follow

I’ll be one tough act to follow

Here today, gone tomorrow

But you’d have to walk a thousand miles

In my shoes just to see

What it’s like to be me

I’ll be you, lets trade shoes

Just to see what it be like to

Feel your pain, you’ll feel mine

We’ll go inside each other’s minds

Just to see what we find

Look at shit through each others eyes

Don’t let them say you ain’t beautiful

They can all get fucked, just stay true to you

Don’t let them say you ain’t beautiful

They can all get fucked, just stay true to you

I think I’m starting to lose my sense of humor, everything ‘s so tense and gloomy, I

almost feel like I gotta check the temperature in the room just as soon as

I walk in, Its like all eyes on me, so I try to avoid any eye contact

Cuz if I do that, then it opens a door for conversation, like I want that!

I’m not looking for extra attention, I just want to just like you

Blend in with the rest of the room, maybe just point me to the closest restroom

I don’t need no fucking man servant, Trying to follow me around and wipe my ass

Laugh at every single joke I crack, and half of them ain’t even funny like

“Haa! Marshall you’re so funny man

you should be a comedian god damn”

Unfortunately I am, I just hide behind the tears of a clown

So why don’t you all sit down, listen to the tale I’m about to tell

Hell, we don’t gotta trade our shoes, and you ain’t gotta to walk no thousand miles