Here are some pictures :
This is my face when I'm walking... Not angry/pissed off/scary what right...!
I'm going back to JB in a few days time. I really don't want to go back. I don't know why. I feel sad. Hahaha but my pocket kosong already. I don't know what I'm thinking really. Maybe I don't want to go back because I like being alone here way better compared to being alone in JB. People are weird there.. I just don't feel some sort of connection. I don't know what I'm saying. Yea Yea Yea Ya'll can go have a bad impression on me now. I'm not that much of a good person anyway. I would say I'm a horrible person.
Sigh.. Oh well. I seriously don't understand why am I so unhappy with my life. I mean, I should stop wanting more and stop and look at my life for a while, its better than a lot of people, and for once just be contented with everything. I really don't want to feel this way but I'm losing control. I want to be contented with my appearance. I want to be contented with the things I have. I want to be contented with the people around me. But I am not. And I don't know what to do.
Everyday I tell myself, "Hey, you're not bad yourself!" Then I'd be Ok.. Something will definitely happen and spoil my day/mood with me having to see myself in the picture (There's a lot I look really horrible/unacceptable). Or that somebody must indirectly point out my flaws, I hate this the most. I don't care if you directly point out my flaws but indirectly pointing it out just really makes me feel as if I'm a trash. What hurts the most is that.. I can't do anything about it and everyone around me is sick of me feeling this way. Made me think a lot, question my existence like.. "Why the hell would I want to go on with life when everybody else is sick of me." I'm fucking insecure like that. I need people to reassure me that I am acceptable. And you know what sucks? Having to know that people around you reassuring you in a way that portrays a burdened feeling when they do it.
Maybe all these happen because I'm lonely. The feeling where you are around with people but you are still lonely, and delusional.
All the best for those who are taking SPM tomorrow! All the best for those who are having their exam tomorrow too.
Have a great night. Have a great day ahead tomorrow. Bye all. End of emo post.
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